Pater: Lessons on growing the perfect Avocado Jnr

Posted by Pater , Saturday, May 1, 2010 9:38 PM

Lesson One: Food

For Avocados to grow, they need nourishment. You, Avocado Jnr, seem to have no problem with water (and milk) but food hasn't been the joy others have found it to be. As the photos below show, you don't seem to agree with the words of Oliver's fellow orphans...

Food, glorious food!
What wouldn't we give for
That extra bit more --
That's all that we live for
Why should we be fated to
Do nothing but brood
On food,
Magical food,
Wonderful food,
Marvellous food,
Fabulous food,
Beautiful food,
Glorious food.
...and you definately won't be asking for more when it comes to peaches, sweet potato or rice cereal. It's ironic that you'll happily put clothes labels, unwashed toys and the tassles of Grandma Toronto's rug into your mouth but not a piece of banana.

It's even more ironic when you consider the sweet tooth that runs through Mater's side...

...maybe we should puree cupcakes for you?

Lesson Two: Sunlight

Avocados trees need strong sunlight to grow. Avocado Jnrs are no different but sunlight isn't the easiest thing to obtain in Canada. Pater knows, having lived through two winters that lasted six months. Six months of minus temperatures and snow up to the waist! Pater is therefore so proud of your recent achievement (no, not sleeping through the night or sitting up on your own) of making it through your first Canadian winter without one of your ears dropping off or losing a toe to frostbite. Pater's proud how you survived this...

...and this...

...and are now enjoying the real sunlight needed for growth (yes, Mater, only after putting on Factor 60 Sun cream, obviously) as shown here...


...and here...


Lesson Three: Knowing when to throw in the towel

Avocados aren't easy to grow. Perseverance is needed. And in life you too, my Avocado Jnr, will need to learn tenacity. But as important as that is, you also need to learn when to throw in the towel. When? Well, if you see Mater putting on boxing gloves, forget the towel, don't even get in the ring. As shown in the last post, Pater learnt that lesson the hard way!

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1 Response to "Pater: Lessons on growing the perfect Avocado Jnr"

Unknown Says:

You write so beautifully. Sounds like motherhood really suits you.

May 2, 2010 at 8:08 PM

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